Words – Chapter 26 to Chapter 28

Chapter 26

[Mikel]

We went to EK and just enjoyed the day. Grabe yung mga rides na sinubukan namin. Ako nga eh mejo nasusuka na, pero si Mish, full of energy parin. Pero finally, tumigil narin kami sa kakasakay at kakasigaw sa mga rides. We even went to the Horror House at ayun, kung pwede lang siya kasuhan ng abuse, why not. Pano naman kasi no, everightime na may sumusulpot na “mumu”, as what she calls it, eh pinupukpok niya ng sapatos niya, which was really a pain in the body.Sabi nga ng iba, disiplinahin ko daw yung girlfriend. Ngumiti nalang ako sa kanila at hinila siya palabas. 

Mish: I’m so tired.

Ako: Don’t tell me gusto mo ng umuwi?

Mish: Yup.

Ako: Minsan nga lang ako nagyayaya, tapos uuwi ka na kaagad? Meron pa eh.

Mish: Rides na naman? Naman.. Mikee, naubos na natin yung rides dito. Napasukan narin natin every booth. Kaya naman.. uwi na tayo.

Ako: Pero nakita mo naba lahat?

Mish: What do you mean?

Ako: Surprise in 5 minutes.

Umupo kami dun sa isang bench at naghintay. Then, Michelle counted: 5,4,3,2,1.

At yun nga, sa inaasahan ko, fireworks came flashing up at the sky, different colors, different styles.. just.. wonderful.

I saw Mish’s eyes widened in amazement and she was smiling like she really liked the view and what was on her front. I looked at her and I think, for the first time in my life, I’ve never seen such joy in a person’s eyes like hers. Naisip ko kaagad ang dapat ko palang sabihin sa kanya. And my mind was having a battle kung sasabihin ko o hindi. Suddenly, Mish looked at me and smiled. Then I was locked. I was locked at her brown sparkling eyes. Dang, that brown sparkling eyes of hers that always gives me the shiver whenever it looks into my eyes and the reason why her eyes would never get out of my sight. Her eyes that meant every word she wanted to say. Her eyes that makes her so transparent. Her eyes that I would always remember. Her eyes that meant thousand of words.

As I was locked at her eyes for almost a minute, suddenly, I freed myself from her charm. Tumingin ako sa langit at ngumiti. I don’t have to say this, but I really should. I lowered my head and let out a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

Ako: I’m leaving.

Suddenly, Mish looked at me and I saw her eyes widened in shock.

Ako: I’m leaving for Paris. I got this scholarship i’ve been working for the past five months. And they just granted it. I’m going to Paris with Lindsay. And..

She didn’t say a word. She was just looking at me confused and hurt? I paused since hindi nagsasalita si Mish.

Ako: Mish?

She’s crying but why? I mean, of course, we’re friends.. and.. of course, mamimiss niya ako. But, why do I feel like.. this cry means something.. something.. na hindi ko maexplain or ayokong iexplain.

Mish: I’m so happy for you.

She forced a smile and smiled at me.

Mish: So, this is all about it. Right? You’re keeping your promise to me because.. because.. you’re leaving.. and..   and..  I don’t know what to say.

Sh*t. Just don’t say anything. No, just say anything.. just don’t cry. Sh*t.

Ako: Mish.. this is what i’ve wanted since she went away from me…and..

Mish: I told you, I’m so happy for you.

She smiled again and walked away. I hurriedly followed her and grabbed her hand.

Ako: Do you understand me? I’ve been waiting for this. And.. kaya nga umiwas ako sa gulo for almost five months dahil dito.. and..

Mish faced me crying.

Mish: I know. That’s why I’m happy for you.. I know that.. and.. you don’t have to explain all of this to me.. I understand every word from you.. and.. It’s just that.. why didn’t you tell me about this before? Mikel, alam mo? Sana.. sana hindi mo nalang to tinupad. Sana hindi mo nalang ako dinala dito. Sana..

Ako: Mish I’m sorry!

Mish: Sana.. hindi ka nalang pumasok sa buhay ko.

I stood there frozen when I heard those last words she said.

“Sana.. hindi ka nalang pumasok sa buhay ko.”

I looked at her at pakiramdam ko, sobrang galit yung naramdaman ko sa loob ko.

Ako: I’m leaving the day after tomorrow. Everyone knows it already. I explained everighthing to your parents and mine. Now, this time, I just wanna spend my last days here with you. And..

Mish: Mikel, just stop!

Ako: Mish!

She turned around to wipe her eyes. I heard her let out some air and faced me again.

Mish: That’s it. Leave. I don’t really care at all. You love her, she loves you.. and.. I’m fine with it.

Ako: Mish..you –

Mish: So, ano plano tomorrow?

Ako: Are you really, okay with it?

Mish: of course. You’ve waited for it right? And.. you promised Lindsay something too.. so, it’s alright with me.

Ako: Then, can we have our last dinner tomorrow night?

She smiled.

Mish: Yeah. Sure.

We went home pero ewan ko ba, pakiramdam ko, merong pader sa pagitan namin ngayon. Sobrang tahimik ni Mish at hindi ako sanay na ganyan siya. Siguro kasi, kung ako rin naman sa side niya, mabibigla din ako. Hindi ko alam na magiging ganito ang sitwasyon. I was thinking kasi noon na if something might happen, ayos lang na ibagsak ko ang scholarship and just be contented here with someone. Pero hindi ko na alam kung ano na ang nangyayari. Parang ang bilis ng mga bagay-bagay eh.

When we arrived, she just went directly inside her room at pumasok narin ako sa kwarto ko. Tomorrow’s gonna be your last day Mikel. And try mo lang. Try mo lang kung merong mangyayari sa katulad sa sinabi ni Joseph. Pero kung wala, then go on. Make your decision at sumunod nalang sa plano ni Mrs. D.

That’s it.

Early in the morning, umalis na ako ng bahay para bumili ng something.

Ako: Hmm, ano po yung pwede ditong makausap?

Manong: Ay, eto iho. Ilalagay mo ba ito sa bahay niyo?

Ako: Opo. Baka mamiss po kasi ako ng kasama ko sa bahay?

Manong: Ahh.. asawa mo?

Ako: Manong naman.. ang bata ko pa para magkaroon ng asawa.

Manong: Hahahaha.

Binayaran ko na yung binili ko at bumalik sa condo. Dumiretso kaagad ako sa kwarto niya but she wasn’t there. Kaya naman, diretso kaagad sa kitchen. Ayun, kumakanta pa habang nagluluto ng breakfast. I smiled to myself.

“Hoy panget!”

“Hoy panget!”

“Hoy panget!”

Bigla namang tumingin sakin si Mish at naninkit naman ang mga mata.

Ako: Hindi ako yun!

Mish: Talaga? Eh sino naman yun?!

Sabi niya sakin habang papalapit siya sakit at may dalang tinidor.

Ako: Hindi nga…. hindi ako yun… Mish..

Mish: Mikel!

Bigla ko kaagad nilabas yung nasa likod ko. Then she stopped at tumingin sa hinahawakan ko.

Mish: Ano iyan?

“Para di mo ako mamiss.”


Chapter 27

[Mish]

I went inside my room at doon tumodo ng iyak. Bakit ba masyado siyang manhid? Bakit ba masyado siyang stupid? Naman Mish.. ikaw yung stupid dito. Ikaw yung nagpapakatanga sa kanya – and him? Nagmamahal lang naman siya. At diba nga, sinabi mo ng you’re happy for him? Kaya tama na.. you are.. kelangan eh. Kelangang maging masaya ka para sa kanya. Kahit hindi ka naniniwala sa motto na ‘if the one you love is happy with the one he loves, then you should set him free’, alam ko naman kasi na para lang sa mga pangit yang motto na iyan, pero kelangan ko ngayong magpakapanget at maniwala diyan.Siguro sa sobrang iyak ko eh nakatulog na ako.

Tingtong! Tingtong! Tingtong! Tingtong!

Ayan na naman yang alarm clock na walang tigil sa pagskaskandalo. Ang aga-aga pa noh! But then, pinilit ko nalang na gisingin ang sarili ko. I ran to Mikel’s room since huling araw niya na rito at gusto ko siyang kulitin, but then, wala siya sa room niya – that means, wala siya sa bahay.

Baka nagjogging or anything or nilasap yung hangin ng Pilipinas for the last time. Hayy..ewan.

Kaya minabuti ko nang magluto ng breakfast since pagdating dito mamaya eh maghahanap narin yun.

Then may bigla akong narinig na malaking kasinungalingan.

“Hoy panget!”

“Hoy panget!”

“hoy panget!”

Bigla akong tumingin sa likod ko and I saw Mikel. Grrr… sinong tinatawag mong panget?!

Mikel: Hindi ako yun!

Ako:Talaga? Eh sino naman yun?!

Hawak-hawak ko pa yung tinidor at isasaksak ko talaga yun sakanya.

Ako: Hindi nga…. hindi ako yun… Mish..

Ako: Mikel!

Hahabulin ko na sana siya nang may inilabas siya sa likod niya at napatingin ako dun.

Ako: Ano iyan?

Mikel: Para di mo ko mamiss.

And yeah, isang parrot ang nasa cage na hinahawakan niya. Leche.. kakaiba din pala itong lalaking ito. Kung yung iba eh yung binibigay eh mga aso o kahit ano na pede mong ihug, eto, parrot? How weird is that?

Ako: Aanhin ko yan?

Mikel: Kausapin mo. Para kunwari andito parin ako.

Ako: Ahh… ganun.. parang replica mo? Nga lang parrot?

Mikel: Yup, yup, yup.

Then naisip ko kung ano talaga yung gusto kong gawin sakanya.

Ako: So, pede ko siyang patayin, right?

Mikel: Waahh.. Mish…

Tinago niya kaagad sa likod niya ang parrot.

Mikel: Ang brutal mo naman. Don’t tell me yan yung gusto mong gawin sakin?

Ako: Eh kung sabihin kong yun nga?

Mikel: Hala.. ang sama mo.. kawawa naman tong parrot o.

“Hoy Panget!”

Tiningnan ko si Mikel habang nanininkit ang mga mata ko.

Ako: Guess hindi ako maaawa diyan sa lagay na to.

Tumingin si Mikel sa parrot.

Mikel: Bawiin mo yun.

“Kerrrkkk… Hoy panget!”

Mikel: Bawiin mo sabi! Sundin moko ha? Mish maganda! Mish maganda! Mish maganda!

“Kerrrkkk.. Panget!”

Mikel: Hehehehe… intindihin mo nalang sana. Mejo matigas ang ulo eh.. mana sakin?

Ako: Hmm.. ano name niyan?

Mikel: Ikaw? Bahala ka.

Ako: Mikeee…

Mikel: Grabe ka naman Mish.. ano kala mo sakin, parrot na talaga?

Ako: Dapat nga magpasalamat ka since cute ang mga parrot.

Mikel: Ang sama mo talaga!!!

Ako: Anyway, breakfast is ready. Halika kana dito.

Mikel: Yippeee…!!

Pumunta kami ng kitchen at kumain. Then Mikel stopped and looked me at the eyes.

Mikel: Dapat sanayin mo na ang self mo na kumain ng mag-isa.

Tumahimik lang ako kasi baka kung ano-ano na masabi ko. And yes, wala akong planong sabihin sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko. For what pa? This isn’t like teleseryes sa tv na kapag paalis na angtaong mahal mo, dun mo pa sasabihin. And I had enough dramas in my life. And as I said, para ano pa? Para mapahiya at masaktan? Para ipamukha nila sakin na I’m a hopeless person? No, thanks. I’d rather keep this to myself at umiyak nalang.

Mikel: Tsaka..dapat.. matuto ka nang magdrive. Wala na ako para ipagdrive ka araw-araw. Tsaka.. baka kasi.. kapag nagtaxi ka, makidnap ka pa or baka ano mangyari sa iyo. Kaya dapat.. matuto ka nang magdrive.

Tumahimik parin ako habang pinipigilan ang luha na tumulo galing sa mata ko.

Mikel: Tsaka.. wag kang magpapasok ng kahit sino dito ha? Mahirap na at baka anong gawin sa iyo. Tsaka..

Ako: Bakit mo sinasabi to sakin ngayon?

Mikel: Syempre.. tomorrow wala na ako.. ayoko namang.. may mangyaring masama sa iyo..tsaka..

Ako: I know that.. hindi naman ako tanga o bata para sabihan mo ng mga ganitong bagay.

Tumahimik lang si Mikel at nagsimula ulit kumain.

Ako: Ikaw dapat yung mag-ingat.

Bigla naman siyang tumingin sakin.

Ako: I mean.. medyo habulin ka kasi ng gulo.. tsaka..

Mikel: I know what you’re trying to say.

Kumain siya ulit at tumayo naman ako para kumuha ng tubig sa ref. Huminga ng malalim at humarap sa kanya.

Mikel: Nga pala, we’ll have a dinner mamaya. Ayos lang?

Tumango naman ako.

Mikel: Okay then. I’ll fetch you at 7.

Ako: Sure.

Mikel: I’m going.

Ako: San ka pupunta?

Mikel: Barkada lang.

Ako: Can you just wait for me? Punta narin ako sa friends ko. I really need to talk to them right now.

Mikel: Oh, sige sure. Daan narin ako dun. Para makapag-paalam ako sa knila.

Ako: Hmm, kelan ka magpapaalam kina Mommy?

Mikel: tapos na.. nung saturday pa.

Ako: Bakit di niya ako tinatawagan?

Mikel: I don’t know.

Mabilis naman akong pumasok sa kwarto at nagbihis. Then we went on our way. At ayun, nagkita-kita kami dun sa cakeshop. May paiyak-iyak effect pa sina Lisa.

Rach: Teka, Mish, bakit parang biglaan?

Ako: Ewan ko.

Rach: That means.. you’re in..

Lisa: P-A-I-N.

Ako: Thanks Lis.

Rach: Lisa naman eh.

Lisa: Totoo naman ah. Sinabi mo naba?

Rach: Oo nga, sinabi mo na ba?

Ako: Ayoko. At wala akong planong sabihin.

Lisa: Saksakan ka talaga ng kadramahan Michelle!

Rach: Oo nga.

Ako: Oo nah.. oo na, tanga na kung tanga!

At ayun, nagkwentuhan kami about sa nngyari nung nandun kami sa EK at kung pano niya sinabi at kung pano ako umiyak at nagpakaplastic at paulit-ulit rin yung pagsabi nila na ang !@#$-!@#$ ko. Salamat friends.

And it was 6 in the morning when Mikel texted me na kung pede eh pumunta nalang akong mag-isa sa resto. Mejo ipit daw siya sa traffic at may nakalimutan pa raw siya sa bahay na kelangan niya pang kunin.

Kaya ayun, exit ako sa mga friends ko. Pero hinatid naman nila since mejo nerbyosa sila when it comes to me. They dropped me off safely at the resto at pumasok naman ako. Then a waiter asked me kung ako daw ba si Miss Michelle Monteverde at tumango naman ako. Then he directed me to the table na pinareserve daw ni Mr. Araneta.

So ayun, umupo naman ako at naghintay.

Naghintay… ng naghintay…7:30.. wala parin… 7:50.. wala parin..

My eyes were always at the door naghihintay sa kanya. Pinagtitinginan na ako ng mga tao at mejo nahihiya narin ako. Iniisip ko na baka may nangyari na sa kanyang masama or baka napano na siya. Syempre hindi naman ako ang unang tatawagan. Kaya mejo nanginginig na ako sa sobrang pag-aalala.

8:15..

8:37..

8:58…

I was near to tears when the door swung opened. And I was surprised to see..

Karlo.

I loweredmy head as tears started to flow from my eyes down to my cheeks. Nasan ka na ba Mikel? Baka kung ano na ang nangyari sa iyo?

I lowered down my head para hindi ako makita ni karlo, but then I saw shoes sa gilid ko.Karlo: Mish?

Nakayuko parin ako. Sorry, wala akong planong magpakita ngayon sa iyo na basang-basa ang mukha dahil sa luha.

Karlo: Mish, what are you doing here?

I wiped my tears and then hinarap ko siya. Nang makita niya ako, I hear him muttered a sh*t word. And before he could laugh at me, umalis na ako at dumiretso sa labas para mag-abang ng taxi. Mikel’s not gonna come, at hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero there’s something in me na alam kong hindi na siya darating. I waited.. and bahala na.

Karlo: What are you doing?!

Pumapara na ako ng taxi sa gilid ng road when he shouted those words to me na parang pinipigilan niya ako. But then, I ignored him.

Karlo: What are you planning to do?! uuwi kang nakataxi?! are you insane?!

Ako: Just leave me alone.

Karlo: Mish, i’ve known you for almost 2 years. Hindi ka marunong magtaxi! And please, delikado na ang sumakay sa taxi ng ganitong oras para sa iyo!

Ako: What do you care?!

Karlo: I’m taking you home!

Ako: Sasakay ako ng taxi!

Karlo: Come on! I’m taking you home!

At bago pa ako makapagsalita, Karlo dragged me down to his car. Lahat ng tao nagtinginan samin since I look like a 5 year old na hinihila ng Papa niya pauwi. I stopped resisting at sumunod nalang sakanya. He pushed me in, that was rude, but ayos lang, and he closed the door. Pumasok naman siya kaagad sa driver’s seat at promise, maririnig mo yung paghinga niya na parang alam na alam mong galit na galit siya.

Karlo: Sino hinihintay mo dun?

Ako: W-wala.

Karlo: Bullshi*t! Alam naman ng ugok na yun na hindi ka marunong magtaxi, bakit di ka niya sinundo?!

Ako: His name is Mikel.

Karlo: Mikel or whatever. Sana man lang tinawagan mo ang mommy mo.

Ako: Ihahatid mo ba ako o hindi?

And before I could say another word, inatras niya ang car at dumiretso na kami sa building. Pakiramdam ko, ang tagal-tagal ng byahe. And I can’t stop thinking about the possibilities kung ano na ang nangyari kay Mikel.

Karlo: We’re here.

I looked at Karlo. He was looking straight ahead at the road.

Ako: Karlo..  What was the reason again why we broke up?

As I said those words, tears were forming at my eyes. Karlo looked at me and wiped my tears. Then he looked back at the road again.

Karlo: Two timer ako.

Ako: Why? Bakit? May kulang paba sakin nun?

Karlo: I hated you. I hated you dahil lagi mong pinamumukha sakin na !@#$ ako when I’m not. Pakiramdam ko, ang tingin mo sakin, sobrang !@#$ and I always felt intimidated around you. Remember one time? Lalayas ka sa bahay niyo and you called me up?

Ako: Yeah. Pinaalam mo ako kay Mommy.

Karlo: Naisip mo ba kung ano yung gagawin mo sana? You were putting your future at stake. At san ka pupunta? Sa bahay ko? At anong mangyayari satin? Have you ever think of those things noon Michelle?

Ako: I’m sorry.

Karlo: And I met other girls. They’re not like you. They make me feel special and everighthing. Hinanap ko sa kanila yung wala sa iyo and that includes not making me look like !@#$.

Bumuhos yung luha sa mga mata ko. Akala ko.. akala ko noon.. siya ang may problema.. because they always say I’m perfect.. hindi ko alam.. oh.. gosh…

Ako: I’m so sorry… I’m really soorryy…

Siguro.. siguro kung di ko ginawa yun.. kami pa ni Karlo ngayon.. siguro.. siguro hindi ako nasasaktan ng ganito dahil kay Mikel. Siguro.. hindi ako nasasaktan ng ganito.

Karlo: I’m so sorry too. Sa lahat lahat.

I smiled at Karlo.

Ako: I’m going.

I opened the door and started walking when Karlo called to me.

Karlo: Mish!!

Lumingon naman ako.

Karlo: So.. we’re cool?

I smiled. Loko parin siya.

Ako: Yeah! We’re cool.

Karlo: Good. See ya around!

Pagkatapos nun, I just smiled again and he went inside his car smiling. Yeah, see ya around too. Tama nga naman talaga, nobody’s perfect. And Karlo was not !@#$, ako pala yung !@#$ noon. Ako pala yung nam-abuso sa kabaitan niya which made him find other girls. Yada, yada, but that was over. Di ko na yun mababalik.

I entered the elevator and went upstairs. Hindi parin ako makapaniwala that Mikel just ditched me off. Or baka nga may nangyari talagang masama sa kanya. Kanina pa ako nagwoworry and sa sobrang pagwoworry ko of what might happen to him, naiiyak ako.

I walked out and headed straight to our unit. I stood at the front of our unit’s door and looked at the door number. I let out a sigh. Irorotate ko na sana ang door when suddenly, it opened.

Voice: I’m going.

Lindsay?

I suddenly walked at the side of the door.

Voice1: Lindsay come on!

Mikel?!

Lindsay: Tell me Mikel, are you sure that you’re going with me at Paris? Are you really sure that you still feel the same way about me? Are you really sure na wala kang nararamdaman kay Michelle!? Are you ready to leave everighthing behind here para makasama ako sa Paris?!

Tears were starting to form at my eyes again at napapikit nalang ako sa mga sumunod na narinig ko.

Mikel: Yeah! Lindsay, I love you! Nangako ako sa iyo diba? And I’m not just a jerk na sisirain ko yun. And I’m not doing this because I promised you, I’m doing this because I still feel the same about you! And Michelle? We’re just… we’re just.. plain.. friends..

Eto na naman yung kirot sa dibdib ko. Eto na naman yung.. mga luha na ayaw tumigil sa kakalabas galing sa mata ko. Eto na naman yung pakiramdam na kung saan minsan gusto mo nalang mamatay kesa marinig yung mga bagay na yun. Eto na naman silang lahat.. and si Mikel lang yung nagpaparamdam sakin niyan.

Pakiramdam ko, nanghina ang katawan ko at napaupo nalang ako sa sahig na tumutulo ang luha. Hindi ako makahinga ng mabuti at pakiramdam ko.. pakiramdam ko.. sobrang t*nga ko na nga talaga para umasang pede niya pa akong mahalin.

Lindsay: Really?

Mikel: Linds.. I’m going..

Lindsay: That’s really great to know. I’m going home. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Lindsay went outside the door and she noticed na nandun ako at nakaupo. She smirked at me! F8ck you, you b*tch. She did it on purpose. She really did.    I gathered all my courage at yung pride na natitira pa sa pagkatao ko. I wiped my tears, stood up at pumasok sa door.

Suddenly, Mikel looked at me.

Mikel: Sh*t. Mish..

I looked at him like pinapahiwatig ko sakanya na alam ko na kung bakit di siya nakarating. Kung bakit.. kung bakit.. hindi siya nakarating.. at..   I’m so st*pid. So st*pid. I worried so much.. tapos.. tapos.. nnandito lang naman pala siya kasama si Lindsay? right. Sino ba naman ako para unahin niya kesa kay Lindsay diba? Its just that.. sana man.. sana man lang no? Sinabihan niya nalang ako para di na ako naghintay dun at nagmukhang kawawa diba?

Pero kahit ganito ang nararamdaman ko ngayon, nagawa ko paring ngumiti. yan, jan ka magaling Mish.. magpakaplastic. Sige, magpakaplastic ka. Ngumiti ka na parang walang nangyari. Ngumiti ka lang na parang ayos lang sa iyo ang lahat. Narinig mo na ang lahat diba? Magkaibigan lang daw kayo.. kaya kayanin mo nalang muna.. bukas, wala na siya. Hindi ka na ulit masasaktan.. Kaya kayanin mo lang.

Mikel: Mish.. I’m really sorry..

I smiled and went into my room. Ayoko na munang magsalita, dahil baka ano na masabi ko saknya.

Hindi na ako kinatok ni Mikel or anything. Kaya naman nahiga nalang ako sa kama at tumudo ulit ng pag-iyak. Senxa na my pillows kung pakiramdam niyo salty na kayo. At this time, kayo lang ang console ko at.. I just needed to cry one last time. Promise, tomorrow, I won’t gonna cry again..

After some hours, lumabas ako ng room at nakita ko sa kwarto ni Mikel na nangiimpake na siya.

Ako: Packing up?

Mikel paused and looked at me.

Mikel: Yeah.. Mish.. look-

Ako: I waited for you for almost 2 hours.. and..hindi ka dumating.. pero ayos lang.. I understand..  Cheesy sino ba naman ako para unahin mo kesa kay Lindsay diba?

Mikel: Mish let me-

Ako: Hindi ka na ba talaga papipigil?  Embarrassed

Mikel: Huh?

Ako: Like.. hindi na ba talaga kita mapipigilan?

Mikel: Mish, I’m really..

Ako: You wanna know what true faith is?

Mikel: Mish..

Ako: Its believing the unbelievable.

I can see Mikel through my blurry vision and tears started to flow at my eyes again.

Ako: Alam mo kung anong iniisip ko kanina habang naghihintay sa iyo? I was really worried na baka ano na ang nangyari sa iyo or anything like that since habulin ka nga diba ng gulo? And then.. ill just find oyu here.. with her.. and you know what it feels like?   I was happy kasi andito ka pala and walang nangyari sa iyo.. pero sana man lang.. you cared to call me up at sinabing you’re here and you’re with her.. and you’re safe.. and we can’t have dinner together. Madali lang naman yun diba? Diba Mikel? Madali lang naman yun eh!

I was really crying hard as I was sitting at his bed. Then Mikel knelt down to face me. He wiped my tears and he held my hands.

Mikel: Mish.. I’m really sorry.. dahil hindi ko ginawa yun. I’m really sorry that.. that.. I made you worry so much. And.. I’m really sorry.. please.. I’m so sorryy…

I looked at him and.. bakit ba when it comes to you, lumalambot ang puso ko? Bakit ba kasi ako ganun?!

Ako: I just wanna say.. mag-ingat ka dun.. and.. kapag bumalik ka, just.. call me up okay? And..

Mikel: Star City naman tayo.

Ako: Yeah.. star city.. and.. Mikee?

Mikel: Yeah?

Ako: Thanks for everighthing.. and.. I won’t forget you.

With that I hugged him as tight as I could. I’m really gonna miss you so much.   Mikel hugged me back and I wiped my tears as I went out of his room.

Mikel: Mish! My flight’s at 9.I looked at Mikel again and smiled softly.

Ako: Yeah. Take care.

I went out of his room and went inside my room. Too much crying can cause very big eyes and very red eyes. Kaya stop na Mish. You can do nothing. You can’t stop him from leaving. Ilang ulit mo ba kelangang sabihin yan sa sarili mo ha?

Sa sobrang pag-iisip, nakatulog na ako.


Chapter 28

[Mikel]

Michelle went out of the room and narinig ko nalang yung *bang* ng door niya sa room niya. I continued packing, then I saw the videocam na binigay sakin ni Mom noon. I smiled. Kinuha ko at nilagay sa bag. Magagamit ko parin yun doon diba?

After some few hours of packing, I went outside and dumiretso ako sa room ni Michelle. I peeped and I saw that she was sleeping already – with the lights on.

I went into the side of her bed and I saw the pics sa gilid ng lamp niya. I remembered na dito ko rin noon nakita yung picture nila ni Karlo. Guess tinapon niya na at ngayon yung picture naman namin ang napagdiskitahan.

Suddenly, my gaze shifted to the sleeping Michelle. I say to you, pwede magiging totoo si sleeping beauty. And Michelle is one. But then may napansin ako sa cheeks niya. It was wet and are these tears?

I wiped the tears and smiled at myself. Sobrang mamimiss kita Mish. Sobra.

[Mish]

My alarm clock alarmed at 7 am. I have to get out of this place bago niya pa ako maabutan. Yeah, wala akong planong pumunta ng airport. Bakit pa? Para sa iyakan epek? Para makita ko yung bruhang kasama niya papuntang Paris? Well, sorry – wala akong oras para diyan. Isa pa, I so pity Mikel. Magiging karumal-dumal ang buhay niya kapag nagpakasal siya doon sa Lindsay na yun.

So, I put on my jogging outfit. Yup, magjojogging nalang muna ako sa labas. That’s what im doing everyday. Kaya back to my dating routine. And para narin makaiwas ngayon kay Mikel.

[Mikel]

I woke up around 7:30 am. Then, pumunta ako ng kitchen to talk with Mish. Pero wala naman siya dun so I headed to her room. But then wala rin siya. Where could she be at this time? Tsaka.. alam niya namang aalis ako ngayon, well, I just wanna see her for the last time and have fun with her – you know, kulitan and asaran?

I waited for her hanggang naging 8:30 na.. and Lindsay’s been calling me since kanina pa. So I have to get going. I looked at the unit one more time and said goodbye. Lumapit pa ako sa parrot at nagbabye sa kanya.

Ako: Ingat kayo dito ha? Bantayan mo si Michelle.

Keerlrlllkk.. panget!

Ako: Pasalamat ka parrot ka!

Lumabas na kaagad ako at sumakay ng elevator. Then tinulungan naman ako ni Mang Andoy sa mga gamit ko.

Ako: Salamat po.

Manong: No problem. Ingat dun ha!

Ako: Opo.

I looked around for a sign of Michelle, pero wala parin. So, pumasok na ako sa taxi.

 

[Mish]

Malapit na ako sa condo and sana lang nakaalis na si Mikel. Yung hindi ko na makikita ang pag-alis niya? Para naman di na ako umiyak diba? Para di ko mafeel ulti yung naramdaman ko kagabi.

Papalapit na talaga ako when I saw a man standing sa labas ng taxi. He looked around and pumasok narin. I stopped at napatingin ako sa taxi. I looked at it in a distance and I knew then that it was Mikel. He’s really leaving.. and I can’t stop him.

He’s bringing my heart.. and it won’t be back for some time. My heart ached and a tear fell from my eyes as I saw the taxi moving away from me. He’s bringing everighthing from me. Another tear fell from my eyes and the taxi disappeared from my sight. Another tear fell and I know, I have nothing to cry as I’ve got no tear from my eyes left.

That would be the last one.

I wiped my tears and went inside the unit.

Mang Andoy: Uy, nakaalis na siya.

Ako: Ah, oo nga po e.

Manong: Naabutan mo ba?

Ako: Hindi po. Sige po, mauna na po ako.

Manong: Masakit ang mawalan ng minamahal, kaya kung ako sa iyo, may oras ka pa.

Suddenly, it sunk down to my brain. I know kung anong meaning niya. Pero no thanks. Hindi na po.

Ako: Hindi na po.

I smiled and went inside the elevator. Then dumiretso na ako sa room. Suddenly, tumunog naman tong parrot na binili niya.

Kerrkk.. bantayan..

Keerrkkk.. bantayan!!

Lumapit ako dito at kinausap ito.

Ako: Tayo-tayo nalang dito. Wala na si Mikel. Its me and you. So, mabuti naring sabihin ko to sa iyo. Mahal ko yung bumili sa iyo sa pet shop. Yup, sobrang mahal. Kaya naman im letting go of him, kahit masakit. So, dapat, you should help me. Help me to be strong. Yung hindi ako iiyak tuwing gabi or tuwing nakikita kita. Kasi nga, diba sabi niya, binili ka niya para di ko siya mamiss? So.. dapat wag kang katulad ni mikee.. dapat.. dapat.. pasasayahin mo ko.. diba??

Keerrrkk…

Ako: Kaya stop saying that I’m panget! kasi hindi naman eh! Ikaw yung panget, lokong parrot ka.

Ngumiti nalang ako at dumiretso sa kwarto niya. I looked around and I can still smell his fragrance all over the room. Don’t worry, ill spray baygon mamaya dito para di ko maamoy amoy niya.

 

[Mikel]

I’m here standing at the airport with lindsay habang hinhintay na makapagcheck in siya.

Lindsay: Stop looking at the door. Para kang ewan!

Ako: Sorry.

Linds: Sino bang hinihintay mo? Are you expecting for someone?

I let out a sigh. Not expecting – more like waiting.

Ako: Nope. Tapos na ba?

Linds: Yeah. Tara.

She got our tickets. As I was walking papunta sa waiting area, I can’t help looking at the entrance. Baka kasi.. dumating pa siya. Well.. its true faith. Sabi niya nga, true faith is when you believe the unbelievable. Guess, it doesn’t exist. Guess it only applies to God.

[Mish]

Magdadrama na naman sana ako when my doorbell rang. I hurriedly opened it and I saw my friends.

Rach; He’s leaving, and anong ginagawa mo rito?

Ako: Like I can do something?

Lisa: of course you can, kung kumilos ka diyan at hinabol mo siya, di sana may nagagawa ka no?

Ako: Nope. He said it last night. He doesn’t love me. And he’s really going to Paris with her. Kaya wala na. I’m tired. Pagod narin akong masaktan.

Rach: Ang drama mo talaga.

Ako: Hahahaha. But he left me something. See?

Kerrkkk.. panget!!!

Lisa: What is this?

Rach: Duh, parrot!

Lisa: I mean why?

Ako: Para di ko daw siya mamiss.

Rach: patayin kaya natin to?

Lisa: Ay oo nga.

Ako: Uy, wag! Mga sadistang bruha kayo!

Tumawa nalang kaagad kami.

Rach: Wag mo nang pilitin.

Lisa: We know how you feel.

And they embraced me. Tumulo na naman ang mga luha ko.

Ako: I can do this diba?

Rach: Aja!?

Lisa: Fighting!

Its been 3 days since umalis si Mikel, and pakiramdam ko, ang laki ng nawala sakin. Im trying to act as normal as possible. Minsan naiiyak parin ako, pero knowing that his happy, dinadaan ko nalang sa tawa ang mga nararamdaman ko, and I should feel happy for him. I’m still not moving on and.. pakiramdam ko, di na ako magmamahal ng ibang lalaki. I told you, he brought my heart with him. And its not coming back for quite some time right now. And I should just wait for it – kahit wala na akong dapat asahan. I just want my heart back.

[Mikel]

She really didn’t come at the airport. And I’ve been here at Paris for almost two days already. Kaya naman tinotour-tour ako ngayon ni Lindsay. Suddenly, I remembered my videocam, kaya naman dinala ko narin ito sa tour namin.

Then in-on ko na yung video. Pero full na raw, so mag-eerase na sana ako when something played on the screen.

Hi, I’m Michelle Monteverde.

It’s Michelle and all smiles pa. Then humarap sakin ang cam.

And this cute little angel here is Mikel Araneta. You heard it right, I said cute little angel. Yan ay pag tulog siya, pero pag gising, nagiging monster yan – bad monster.   Pero kahit ganyan yan, mahal ko yan.

Ano na naman yan?

shhrrkrkkkshhhrrkkk… chheheckkkrrejrjerehdjhadhaidhakds…

Biglang naputol ang video and napatingin ako sa screen.

Pero kahit ganyan yan, mahal ko yan.

…….. mahal ko yan.

………….. mahal ko yan.

I froze at what I heard. Then I looked at Lindsay who’s standing 3 feet away from me. I searched my mind for any reasons kung bakit ako narito with her. But no reasons came out. The isa lang yung naalala ko back at my mind.

Michelle.

Si Michelle.. na iniwan ko dun for Lindsay. Si Michelle na mahal ako. Si Michelle na hindi ako pinigilan because iniisip niya na magiging masaya ako kay Lindsay. Si Michelle… na mahal ko ngayon.. and..

I just need to go back..

Ako: Linds!

Linds: Hm?

Ako: I’m going back.

Linds:HUH?!

Ako: Kelangan kung umuwi.

Linds: Are you insane?!

ako: I just need to.. and..

Linds: Is it because of –

Ako: Michelle. Mahal ko siya.. and.. I hope-

Linds: But you promised me! You promised to wait for me Mikel! Ano kaba?!

Ako: I did. At tinupad ko yun. Hinintay kita. That’s why I’m here. Pero things change. You changed, I also did. And sa changes na yun.. Mish.. Mish entered my life.. and.. she made the changes worthwhile.. and..

Lindsay looked at me.

Linds: Then go! You’re right. We changed. Then go! Ano pang hinihintay mo?

Ako: Really?

Linds: Yeah, go. She loves you too.

Ako: Pano mo nalaman?

Linds: Since the first time I met her.

She smiled. I hugged her and ran as fast as I could to her apartment. I took all my clothes and purchased a ticket back to Phil. Just wait for me. Just please.. wait for me..

[Mish]

Another day had passed.. and.. my life’s freaking boring. And now, andito na naman ako sa cakeshop with my friends of course. trying to have fun, pero di ko naman nafifeel ang fun. Oh goodie. Life is so unfair.

Ako: Waasshh.. bakit ba ang tagal ng inorder kong cake?!

Rach: Ewan ko.. check mo nalang.

Ako: Yeah, I’m really going to.

Pumunta ako sa counter and before I could say a word, may tumilapong cake sa mukha ko! Sh*t. Ano ba problema ng tao dito?! then it hit me, it was like nung first time kaming nagkakilala ni Mikel. Then I was near to tears again. Pero sa sobrang inis ko narin, mabilis kong hinarap ang taong may gawa na naman nun.

And I was shocked to see…

Mikel.

Ako: M-mikel?

He was smiling na parang ewan. tell me im not dreaming. I pinched my arms and really, nasa harapan ko nga talaga siya.

Ako: I-I-I thought..

Mikel: Mish..

Can we just start all over again?

And before I could answer Mikel kissed me on the lips, and I just kissed him back, coz I felt like this was the right thing to do right now. And, he got no words for me to hear, coz he just made me feel it. And with that, I have nothing and he has nothing to say and put into words.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s